Faith-based News for Extra-TerrestrialsIGUANA PREDICTIONS
Now that everybody and his brother have made their predictions for the year, the Iguana would like to step in and say "you've tried the rest, now try the best" or alternatively "you need a rest, try a chicken breast".
Anyway, here's my predictions:
1. Terror attack 2006 scheduled for August in a blue state possibly in the west.
2. Election stolen (again). Between Terror Attack 2.0 and Diebold, repugs manage to eke out control of Congress despite confidence in their party falling to historic lows. Election results explained as "miracle" for GOP.
3. Iran war makes its way slowly thru UN. Gets approval from UN but not in time for rollout in 2006, instead rescheduled to early 2007. War on Syria postponed to 2008.
You can make predictions too, in the comments.
Comments
In January 2007, the New York Times will publish an in-depth expose of widespread cannibalism among leaders of the GOP. On page 35 they will also reveal that they had the story prior to the 2006 elections but, at the request of Bill "The Gourmet" Frist, delayed publication so they could "re-check some calorie data".
Posted by: Mojo | January 17, 2006 05:51 PM
In answer to one sinners prayers, the entire world will find itself unable, for the duration of one entire week, to speak anything other than the truth.
The GOP will resign en masse, economies and markets around the world will crumble and religion as we know it shall cease to exist.
Posted by: CybScryb | January 17, 2006 07:28 PM
Brad and Angelina will get together and the universe will come to an end. Wait... it must have already happened...
I guess that explains everything...
Posted by: POIUYT | January 17, 2006 11:29 PM
VP Cheney has often been seen carrying around a book whose title is "To Serve Man."
In 2006 we find out it's a cookbook.
Posted by: Brad | January 18, 2006 12:00 AM
In tandem with the waging of new wars and the cultivated fear to sustain them will be a move to scuttle the 22nd Amendment. The Right will say continuity of executive command and authority is needed and the danger of a changing of the guard is a risk we can't afford to take.
Posted by: steve duncan | January 18, 2006 10:15 AM
Bin Laden is pissed off and will strike again in the next few weeks.
Posted by: ace chaos | January 19, 2006 08:17 PM
After the Republicans' amazing (and unprecedented) come-from-behind victory in all Senate and House races in November, a grateful cigar-smoking President Bush will declare that, for reasons of national security , all citizens must wear clean underwear -- and to prove it's clean, it must be worn on the outside --while singing "Rebels are we -- Born to be Free -- Just like the Fish in the Sea."
Posted by: steve the artguy | January 21, 2006 11:58 PM